Jewish People Driving German Cars

This was the name of a skit/song Sarah Silverman performed in "Jesus is Magic" - it was one of the few funny skits in the movie. It tackles issues of race/ethnicity and as the title indicates - what on earth would cause a Jew to drive a German automobile? I hadn't put much thought into this question until recently - a religious conversion forces one to confront his/her ethical responsibility in the world - or at least it should. So as a Jew who drives a Volkswagen what does that mean for me and how does it relate to my ethical responsibility? I wasn't exactly sure and I'm still not, but I'm gaining a better understanding of what it all means.

A little history:

VW is Europe's largest auto maker. It was founded in 1933 by Ferdinand Porsche - yes THAT Porsche after being approached by Adolph Hitler to create a "people's car" (volks = people, wagen = car). Porsche was a fan of Frederick Winslow Taylor and his principles of "scientific management." He also admired Henry Ford, and thusly Porsche was heavily influenced by Ford's anti-semitic theories in his "The International Jew" - a best-seller in the Weimar Republic and formative to Hitler's "Mein Kampf."

Porsche quickly gravitated to theories of increased productivity - and he was willing to achieve these goals at all costs. His first directive on labor as head of the German Automobile Industry Federation was: "Foreign workers will be treated so as to exploit them to the greatest possible extent, with a minimum of outlay." As Hitler gained power, Porsche rediscovered an old-hat cost and labor saving technique: Slavery.

The first mass-production VW plant opened in 1938 and Hitler personally laid the cornerstone of the factory. Porsche was a model Nazi party businessman and was awarded the regime's highest distinctions. He was hailed as an example to follow, extolled in documentaries, in the media, and at party meetings.

In 1945, 90% of VW's workforce was non-German. No one knows how many slave-laborers were used to manufacture VWs under the Nazi regime, but the estimates run as high as one-hundred thousand. They manufactured cars, transports, plane parts, etc. for the Nazi war machine. The life-expectancy of a slave-laborer under the Nazis was 3 and 1/2 months. Isn't it ironic that the victims of fascist regimes generally help perpetuate their industries?

But while VW may have the dubious distinction of being Hitler's brain-child, as a company they are not alone. BMW and Mercedes each participated in and profited from the Holocaust. I.G. Farben (the pharmaceutical and chemical giant) had 35,000 slave-laborers at Auschwitz - of those over 25,000 died. IBM supplied counting machines to tally prisoners, their personal effects, and their deaths. Many insurance companies sold life-insurance policies to European Jews then demanded a death certificate in order for the claim to be paid - the insurance companies knew full-and-well that no death certificates were issued for people killed in the camps. To provide a certificate of death was to acknowledge the life of the person. Swiss banks hid and protected the assets of German nationals who stole said assets from Jewish families.

All of these companies (and many more) have been sued, more often successfully than not. That said they are not yet absolved of their guilt. Personally I will never own a Ford, BMW, or Mercedes. I will never own another VW. Unfortunately I cannot run out and trade it in right away, but when I am in a financial position to do so, I will.

Superbowl Shennanigans

This past Sunday evening, the Indianapolis Colts defeated the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XLI by the score of who cares to why ask. I do like football, especially college football but when it comes to the NFL and the Dallas Cowboys are not involved - well, its just tough for me to care. That said, by virtue of living in Indiana the Colts have become my adopted team ... even though I really don't like Peyton Manning.

Anyway, the real point of this post is me. We had a Super Bowl party and a had a decent turnout, not too big and bot too small. We had two TVs going in separate rooms so people could spread out, food was abundant, and booze flowed like Klingon blood wine... uh, nevermind.

You know that moment at a party when you decide, "fuck it, I'm getting drunk"? Well, early in the 2nd quarter that moment happened for/to me. And after half-time I became "Dave." Dave is my intoxicated alter ego. I was yelling, chest-bumping, high-fiving, cursing, making horrible off-color jokes (I think I said something along the lines of "If I became America's 1st Jewish President, I would Jew America down and make the Monday after Super Bowl Sunday a National Holiday.") In my mind it was comedic gold, but after sobering up my wife pointed out that it didn't even make sense - I argued, but she was right - it was a horrible joke that may require defending myself against future charges of anti-semitism.

Nevertheless, I had a blast. It's been a long while since I've been "Dave" and if my buddy Sol had been there, we probably would have "wrastled" breaking something in the process. It was that kind of drunk - the good-time, happy-go-lucky, damn I'm funny, much louder than necessary, I don't know you but I love you, annoying-the-shit-out-of-most-everyone-else-around-but-I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck type of drunk. Good times.

Its a rarity these days, and one a I pay a heftier price for as I approach the precipice of 30, but once in a blue moon its still worth it.

Cheers.

After a Long Absence

I apologize to you readers - all 2 of you - that I have failed to make a blog post in almost two months. I have no good excuse - simply life got in the way. I ask for your forgiveness and promise to blog more often.

More than anything this will simply be a post to catch you up on my happenings. Over the holidays my wife and I returned to Texas for nearly two weeks and had a grand time hanging out with our respective families. Upon return to Indiana, we textured and painted our entire downstairs (sans the powder room) - it was more work than I anticipated, but if I'm allowed a moment to brag - it looks pretty damn good. Next on the home improvement hit parade are the floors.

The remaining time I've mostly spent studying for the Feb. 10th LSAT - however, this past Wednesday I finally got my scores from the Dec. LSAT and much to my pleasant surprise I did well enough that I don't have to retake it. Mind you, I only did "good enough" ... if I were applying to the University of Chicago, Northwestern, Notre Dame, etc. I would still be retaking the exam but for the schools I've applied to I think I'll be fine.

On top of that good news came some terrible news: Molly Ivins passed away that same day. If you don't know who she was you can google her, but for me she was the catalyst for my political awakening. She was also the first person I ever had an intellectual crush on. Recurring cancer finally claimed her - I hate that disease ... no I loathe it. She was everything that is great about Texas and I already miss her wry political wit. In an article titled "Why Coloradoans Hate Texans" Molly astutely noted that "...Texans are the Jews of the West. Meaning that they are perceived as loud, vulgar, richer than most folks, and consequently widely resented." How apropos for a Texan Jew to read those lines.

She continues,

Texans are not, in fact, like other Americans. For one thing, we are obnoxious to be around when we are having fun. We talk loud, laugh loud, get drunk, and bang our beer bottles on tables, we whoopee and hoorah and are generally a pain in the hmmm-hmmm. We yell when we are having a good time. We do not yell when we get mad. We tend to get real quiet just before we stomp someone or shoot someone. Foreigners consider this peculiar.

Granted this statement is a a gross generalization - albeit a highly accurate generalization. And last night at my house during the Super Bowl I was that Texan. But that is another post.

I will leave you with one last quote from Molly.

Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be President of the United States, please pay attention.

So true Molly, so true.